The fitness meat market...

First off let me say it's good to have The Captain back in the Americas. She has brought light back to a dark place and we're forever grateful.

Now on with the blog...

Sarah and I recently conversed over the ever prevalent workout culture we've noticed at our gym. We workout at a YMCA, so it's probably not as bad as other clubs, but present nonetheless. Here are the stereotypes I'm talking about:

Guy: 18-47

Apparel: Tight under armour shirt, no sleeves maybe a sweatband or two.

Workout regiment: Enter the facility, Checking out the girls, but not checking out the girls, because they want to be cool, but really checking out the girls. Proceed to back wall with workout mirror. Spend a good 30 minutes breathing heavy, making random grunt/man noises and maybe throwing in some jujitsu moves just for flare. Next up the free weights where the fore-mentioned noises become louder and more obnoxious. This can last from 30 minutes to two hours depending on the lung capacity for workout noise making. Then the post workout mirror stare-down followed by a protein shake and possible raw meat ingestion.

Female: 15-50

Apparel: Snug fitting, low cut tank top and tight short shorts. Thick layer of freshly applied makeup and maybe even a splash or two of perfume.

Workout regiment: Enter the facility with a pace of determination, eyes roaming desperately trying to see who is checking them out. Eyes would generally go to the free weight area where the above mentioned men are located. After stretching a little in front of them, they gingerly find the cardio machine of their choice making sure to look their best during this process. Hair usually stays down as long as they can take it. Some manage it down the whole time. Troopers. There can be purse lipped breathing during the cooldown and then it is off to some free weights or weight machines where the entire process is repeated. The workout ends with the slow chugging of some bottled water, hand on hip, one last look of satisfaction and a strut to the door.

I don't know about you, but observing all of this on a daily basis is quite nauseating, but then Sarah and I had the most brilliant of ideas. We thought, How can we free these people from this cycle, how can they break the chains of this bondage?How do you ask? The answer: Will and Sarah giving a patriotic salute by wearing as much United States of America paraphernalia as two awesomes can manage. This will be distraction enough to break the cycle of unawesome.

This is our commitment to you people of the Vickery Village YMCA and to you people of the world wide web. We will post pictures of our progress in the coming weeks.

USA!

Will and Sarah

This guy knows what I'm talking about-